


In which attempts to deify (and murder) Percy are made

by Eastonia, InfinityIllusion



Series: East and Fin's Percy Jackson Headcanons [5]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: All aboard the crack train, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Gen, Headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 22:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eastonia/pseuds/Eastonia, https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityIllusion/pseuds/InfinityIllusion
Summary: With all the god!Percy fics out there you'd think there'll be one with Percy streaking across the state of New York screaming "NO!" at the top of his lungs.Also, how _does_ one kill the most powerful demigod of this Age?





	In which attempts to deify (and murder) Percy are made

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InfinityIllusion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfinityIllusion/gifts).



  * This one came about as a result of Fin and I talking about the god!Percy trope. During which I remembered that rumour about Ghostbusters 3 and Bill Murray. 
    * You know, the one that says after Ghostbusters 2, Bill kept passing on any mention whatsoever of Ghostbusters 3? And that they sent him one of his castmates with a script and he just _ran_?
    * Imagine the offer of deification being the script, most of the Olympians being the castmate and Percy being Bill Murray. 
      * Because as Fin said, deifying Percy could solve a _whole lot_ of issues for the gods. Because:-
      * 1) They would have a legitimate means of controlling him.
      * 2) He’d be bound by the same rules that binds them.
    * I just want to see Percy sprinting away from the Olympians across the metaphorical golf course with the Olympians running after him with the offer of deification in their hands going “JUST TAKE IT!”
  * So eventually the Olympians (minus the ones that like Percy-and-or-Annabeth, because Percabeth is now just accepted as a package deal of sorts), resort to trickery. 
    * They try putting an auto-deify blessing-or-whatever on an item they think Percy will like.
    * Problem is they are very, very far from subtle. Percy and Annabeth open their door and the McGuffin is just there.
    * I’m going to quote Fin here: 
      * Percy and Annabeth are just there staring at the thing going "...they haven't learned much since Pandora, huh."
      * Later after the shock of wow, di immortals really are that dumb.  
"Percy, no. You can not find Medusa or her sisters and send their heads to the gods as your reply."  
"But it worked so well when we were 11!"
    * That brings us to the question – what happens to the auto-deify McGuffin. (Fin and I thought of that too). 
      * The answer is – Leo.
      * So a couple of weeks later the Olympians that want Percy to be a deity too get the alert that a demigod has ascended.
      * _Finally! YES!_ They think.
      * Then they go – oh shiz. It’s Leo. 
        * Leo is just happy – he cheated death once to get his Sunshine out of her wrongful imprisonment and now he won’t feel guilty that he’s eventually going to grow old and leave Calypso behind.



* * *

  * Meanwhile on the other end of the spectrum...
  * Okay, canon!Percy has a pretty ridiculous sundry bag of powers. 
    * Hydrokinesis, minor control over other fluids (coughs-Akhlys-coughs), minor geokinesis, minor atmokinesis, talking to horses and sea creatures, the list just goes on and on and on!
  * So let’s stop and think for a moment about how to kill our favourite 26-year-old (I am going according to ’93 birth year established a long, long while ago). 
    * First he cannot have access to water. Water mean hydrokinesis (which is his forte) and even if he doesn’t have enough water for a Poseidon-smash, it still means he probably can augment his stamina etc with the water available 
      * Hello there water related vitakinesis.
      * Seriously why do people forget how over powered canon Percy _is_?
    * You can’t fight him on the ground either near a fault line. 
      * Just. Earthquakes.
    * Can’t forget that summoning a hurricane thing he does too.
    * Or the fact he __essentially blood-bended a goddess.  
__
      * _Guys, canon!Percy is so very_ _overpowered._
  * So I guessed that maybe fighting Percy in the middle of the Sahara would actually then put you on fair grounds. 
    * Then Fin pointed out to me the hurricane thing. And the what belongs to the sea will always return thing. And the point of which the entire Sahara desert _used to be an ocean_.
  * Basically, the Sahara wouldn’t work.
  * Fin came up with the solution. 
    * Launch Percy as quickly as possible into space _away from any and all water_ and _hope he implodes_.




End file.
